The lost father of the prodigal son
Over the last 10 years, as some of you may know, I have had to learn to “Let go”. As a father, or in my particular case, a step-father, this is never an easy thing. We want the best for our children. We want them to learn from our mistakes and not have to face the hardship, broken hearts or sometimes worse consequences of their actions. We are saddened when they make decisions that we know will impact their lives forever. We are frustrated when they make choices that we know will lead nowhere good. So we respond, react or try to control their behavior.
Now, with little children, this is relatively easy to do. You swat them on the hand, you pat them on the behind and hopefully they will learn that the stovetop is hot or that putting a paperclip in the wall outlet is perhaps not the safest thing to do. These things hurt… and we desperately want to protect them from getting hurt.
As our children get older, we resort to grounding or loss of certain privileges. Bad school grades result in no TV or no computer time. Being home late for curfew leads to “Not going anywhere next weekend”.
But what do we do as they get older ? Where do we men, called to be the head of our households, turn to ? As our older children seek more independence, we experience more pressure and strain on our relationship with them. As they make choices we don’t approve of, so increases the conflict we may experience with them.